You’re Engaged, Yay! Now What?
Yee! Congratulations on your engagement! Someone popped the question, you said yes, you celebrated over the holidays on a blissful cloud anchored by champagne and cookies, and now you’re at the start of this year wondering, “I’m engaged, but now what?”
Speaking as someone whose proposal took place during the month of December, there’s a lot of WHAT. And how. And where. And a lot, lot more. Now looking back at that proposal period (December 2006!), and with 14 seasons as an event planner under my belt, here are some things to know. But first: deep breath! Ready?
Tip 1: Bask in the afterglow that is being engaged.
After excited phone calls, Zooms, and Face Times, you may be a little fatigued at sharing this life-altering news. And while you want to snuggle with your honey and think about forever, you’ve got an aunt over there wondering how many bridesmaids, what are your colors, are your mom and dad pitching in, what time of year, buffet ro sit-down. Whoa auntie, whoa!
It might be your inclination to Amazon a planner, hit the wedding blogs, and Reddit, but here’s the thing: this is a precious moment, so fall deeply into it. We like to tell our clients to slow down, and maybe give yourself a week or two to just feel the feels. Planning is around the corner, and it’ll be a heady mix of emotions, finances, and decision fatigue. Stretch out those lovey dovey vibes for as long as possible.
Tip 2: Set goals.
Not resolutions, thought that’s spot-on for this time of year. But maybe… resolutions for you and you honey. We like to advise our couples to each have a Top 3 Goals list at our kickoff meetings. Later on as the planning months go on, it is something we constantly refer to--our North Star as we like to say--over and over again. It’s easy to be distracted in this Pinterest-Instagram-TikTok era, where everything looks doable and fun and full of possibility, until work and you know, life, kick in. So set your goals so you remember your core values and goals. Most common: have fun; spend as much time as possible with my guests; and make sure we don’t miss the details (which is where Lily Spruce comes in, hiyyyye!). And perhaps the #1 goal we see the most: be present. It’s true what they say, and our clients say it all the time, how quickly the day/night goes by. That 6-to-12 months of planning can whiz by in a matter of hours. So set the goals. Don’t forget them, and come back to them
Tip 3: Figure out when to have it.
The tricky thing with being engaged during the holidays is that wedding-wise, you’re caught in the middle of an immediate planning decision. When do you get married? That spring? That’s only 5 months. Summer? Only slightly longer than spring. Fall? That gives me more time, but am I pushing it? And finally, can you wait another year-and-a-half post-proposal time? Oof. Lots of decisions factor in, such as:
Where you live (in the Bay Area for example, the season peaks in October--when the weather is most lovely)
Whether or not you are financing it yourselves, or getting help--affecting your overall budget, or affecting whether or not you need to spend time saving more
Where you’d like to have the event, which leads us to…
Tip 4: Choose your venue with care.
If you’re Type A like us, you might want to get a mini jump on planning while you linger on Cloud Engagement. And that jump that we’d recommend, is venue. With only limited inventory (some venues can only have a set amount each wedding season in one year, due to their permitting), venues can sell out of dates quickly. So if there’s something you’re eyeing--email, call, or do both.
Most venues run tours by appointment during the week (so ask for time off from work!) and rarely on the weekends, due to events happening during that time. Some venues also allow you to hold dates without financial holds, and give you something called first right of refusal. Meaning: if someone else is looking at your date--they’ll inform you first, and ask you to make a decision: book, or give up the spot. That’s a pressure situation to be sure, so be sure you know your goals, know what times of year or specific dates you’d like, and press on. Or, back off.
We always say that having a venue first is the foundational piece of your planning. It informs your budget, your guests’s travel plans, and which vendors to book. “A venue tells you everything you need to know,” we say. Start there, and the rest will flow.
Tip 5: Finally, know your planning capabilities.
Not everyone love planning. Or maybe you love planning, but you need additional support in the form of a professional. Or maybe your job makes some serious demands of your free time, and planning definitely soaks up that said free time. We exist for the sole reason that we love helping couples navigate the industry so that they can make smart, informed decisions. We know the landscape, we’ve worked with some great vendors and offer referrals, and help you plot your planning benchmarks. With over 100+ weddings planned, we’re armed with all the tools and resources you need so you can reach your goals, have fun, and let go.
To book a complimentary consultation to talk about your wedding goals and anxieties (totally normal!), click here.
Photos from real Lily Spruce weddings (top to bottom): Laurken Kendall; Buena Lane Photography; IQ Photo